"Even now," declares the Lord, "return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning." Rend your heart and not your garments...  Joel 2:12-13

Sometimes my worship time on Sunday mornings seems stale and ritualistic. I suppose there's a danger in being a worship and music director. I'm so involved with the planning and details of a service and the technical necessities of making it happen that I can become lost in something like a bunch of tangled cables. There's so much noise in my mind that I can't hear the voice of God.

In Joel's time it was common to tear your clothes when you were very upset or in mourning. I once saw a man respond that way after he was in a one-car accident while driving a company vehicle. He was driving drunk and he knew he was in big trouble. As he cried out with remorse, he ripped his shirt open. But, God doesn't want me to merely rip my shirt. He wants me to tear open my heart.

Maybe that's my problem when I come to a Sunday morning worship service. Maybe there's not a dissatisfaction with the way I am and the way I respond to God. When he calls me to repentance, am I listening? Am I bringing Him the "precious" sacrifice of my time and ability when what he wants is for me to show mercy? Maybe it's time for some open-heart surgery.

- Allen